How to successfully drunk dial

How to successfully drunk dial

We’ve all done it and we’ve all had it done to us.  Drunk dialing is a fun American pastime which when done right can lead to legendary results.  Some of the funniest things I’ve ever said (and heard) were during drunk dials.  But in order to successfully drunk dial and wake up regret-free you must remember these (somewhat) simple rules:

Know yourself – Think.  Do you usually wake up regretting what you did while you were drunk?  If so, this is not the sport for you.  Drunk dialing is not for you if you are emo, have a temper or overall a stupid drunk.   It is best for fun, happy-go-lucky drunks like me.

Know who you’re calling – This is of utmost importance if you’re calling someone who is sober.  Is he/she a patient person?  For the most part there is nothing more annoying than a drunk person to someone’s who is sober.  Sober people are already annoyed because you are drunk and they aren’t.  You’re having fun while they are stuck being sober and boring.  The best example of this is bouncers.  They’re always super annoyed and pissed off because they wish they could be having fun with you.  So make sure you’re calling someone with patience and a good sense of humor.

Be in a safe location – Don’t be driving.  Don’t call while you’re in a jacuzzi, hanging off a balcony or using the bathroom.  You don’t want to lose your life, phone, or dignity.  The best place to drunk dial is when you’re in bed, about to fall asleep.  That way, the call can involve talking dirty and you don’t have to move to pass out.

About the Author

Thirty-something living between San Diego and San Francisco telling you how it is. No holds barred.